Good evening my SABU family, I hope you are all doing very well and blessed.
Sometimes in life we can get so attached to a building, materials or even people and when that is taken away from us we panic.
I am going to share a story with you, not to blame anybody or to point fingers at anybody because when two or more fight all involved are wrong. No I share this story in the hope that people will see God’s goodness in my life, and not for my glory but for his glory. Because what God does for me, he will do for you as well.
As you can read on my about me page, I come from a dysfunctional family back ground. I thought: now being an adult that I would never have to deal with that again, however I was so wrong. Allow me to share my story with you.
When my grandmother passed away in December 2016 my father asked me to come live with him and his wife as he had been taking care of his mother all that time. As I care for my father and wanted to be there for him I agreed, I gave notice to my land Lord and one month later I moved in with my father in my late grandmother house. It went really well for the first couple of months but then things changed.
My father does not believe in God yet and actually does not want to hear about it yet, this is where my challenge started because as you know I love God and want to serve him. In the beginning I really believed that God wanted me to live by my father to learn about obedience and submission. I did not know that I was going to be tested pretty badly during the upcoming months. I had been living on my own since I was about 15 years old, working two jobs and going to school. I was kicked out of the house numerous of times and at age 15 decided after yet another kick out I had enough and went to live on my own. After a while i spoke to my mother again and went to visit her sometimes, during one of the visits a fight started with her then boyfriend (it was during a Christmas dinner) and I nearly lost my life as this man wanted to strangle me and had beaten me pretty badly. (however this is another story for some other day) So after that incident I moved to Aruba where I lived with my father for a couple of months and then moved on my own. I had then told myself that I would never again move in with anybody! well at my 37 year of age and a mother of 3 I could not turn down my fathers request so I went ahead. I don’t know how believers can be married to unbelievers ( sorry) its such a stressful thing! My father and his ways did not match mine at all and it was causing friction, I stayed because I thought God assigned me to pass this test.
Until that night were it looked like my former way of living had come back, I felt like that small child again the only difference this time was that I was a grown women. My father seemed to overlook the piece that I was a grown women with two small kids by her side. I will spare you the details but I can tell you that this night was not pretty and at the end my father threw me out of the house with my two younger kids. Here I was again on the street, it was as if my live was back at my young teenage years. I was hurt and spoke to God and said: God I failed you – it was such a bad feeling. At the moment I could not understand why God would want me to pass through a test I just failed? I took my kids to my car and drove away to nowhere, waiting to pick up my oldest daughter from a church event. I was broken for a moment but something was different. Not once was I worried that night, I had to find a place to stay and I searched on my phone waiting for my daughter to finish her event. When she did we drove around and then it clicked we could stay in a hotel, so I called one of the hotels I had stayed in before and booked two nights. We checked in and my younger kids forget all about the drama that had happened that night and were happy with their mini vacation. I went to sleep peaceful that night , even though I had no -place to stay after the two nights. When I woke up the next morning some how the stress hit me but then God spoke to me and said, my Princess I have got this don’t worry just walk the ways you can. So we went and bought a local newspaper. I found an apartment for the end of the month – it was only September 11, 2017 but I still was not worried. We had fun that day looking for apartments. That evening we found an apartment we could move into the next day! I don’t know how it goes were you live but on this island that is definitely not the way things go. My kids looked at me and we knew it was God.
We went back to the hotel for our last night and my kids said to me that they don’t understand how we can be so content, we just went through a very hard time but here we are not affected by it. Like nobody would be able to tell that we were having a very rough time because we were not stressed at all and actually moved closer together. My oldest daughter told me that she finds this a very rewarding experience and that she learned so much in it.
You see God was in it, when everything went wrong that evening I asked for forgiveness for my sins as well as for my father and his wife, even though I was hurt so bad God still had my heart in his hands. God also answered my question when I thought I had failed him, he said: Romy I would never put you in a place to test you, that is not my character. I had told you before to leave but you did not listen to me, I would not keep you in a compromising position because I want you to succeed in following me not fail. I love you so much that when you are hurt I am hurt and when you cry I hear you and I am with you.. Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
I had a peace that surpassed all understanding (Philippians 4:7) when I should have been stressed and lost. I went to work after my off days like nothing had happened while my life was turned up side down, nobody knew or noticed. Psalm 32:8 I will instruct and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you. I love this verse I learned it by heart a couple of weeks ago and I said this verse out loud several times that night and God did that and more.
You see sometimes we think that people that talk about God have a perfect live, however I am here to show you that my live is not perfect. The only difference I have with unbelievers is that God is with me and guides and helps me. I share my story so that you can see that live can be so hard but that when you believe and walk with God he will take care of you. I have been on the street before when I did not have the relationship with God that I have now, however I can still tell you that things worked out for me then as well. The difference though lies in the way things worked out. I would be stressed, moody and in despair constantly tormented with what to do and where to go. This time I was relaxed, enjoyed the mini vacation with my kids and showed love to them. I did what I could do and trusted God to do what I could not. The end result is that even my Kids got to witness with their very own eyes how God was in every step we took which build our faith individually and as a family.
I can’t understand ( I don’t judge though) how people can say or even think there is no God ( like my father, who will soon believe) I see a big difference in how my father lives his life hopelessly and sorrowful and how I live my life with God. Believe me there is nothing like living life with God because even during the bad God is still amazingly good and will be your strength when you are weak. 2 Corinthians 12:9
The house we live in or the car we drive is not important because a house does not make a home and a car does not make a family unite, only God does. If I learned anything from this (and I learned many in the past days) it is that any place is perfect as long as it is with God by your side, nothing else will do. We are happy with our apartment and how God moved mountains for us but even SO – house or no house this does not matter at all, all that matters is Almighty God, the King of Kings – Praise his Holy name.
Remember God loves you much!!!
Saludos Romy Ras